Survivor: Micronesia - Fans vs. Favorites - Episode 2

Just in case you're wondering about the image to the right, the women of Survivor: Micronesia must have mistakenly thought they were doing a Maxim cover shoot when posing for their profile pictures. The whole lot of them are skanked out like never before to the point where I felt I needed to do a little editing on Mary's image before posting it to the site. Unless I'm writing an article on the virtues of KFC, I will never allow that much breast on the pages of my site. We're keeping it PG people!

1. Jungle Fever. I have to say that the Amanda/Ozzy baby-making session had to be one of the worst strategic moves in Survivor history. The whole thing has come as a major surprise to me after Amanda's brilliant strategic performance last season in China. Her and Ozzy, as well as James and Parvati have managed to put major targets on their back with their canoodling. You may be able to get away acting that when you have the numbers, but in a tribe of nine people, that's just asking to get ganged up on 5-4.

Apparently Cirie is going to contemplate which group of four she should side with during the next episode. If the woman has half a brain, which I believe she does, she'll side with Ami, Eliza, Jonathan, and Yau Man. She has a much better shot of integrating with that group than with the two couples. If she sides with Team Tonsil Hockey, it's a guaranteed 5th place finish. At least with the other foursome there's a chance they'll oust Yau Man, who would kill anyone in the finals.

Anyway, in addition to the Power Poll which will make its return at the end of this post, I've decided to come up with another measuring device for Survivor: Micronesia. Without further ado, I'd like to present..

The Amanda and Parvati Hoochi-meter

The Amanda and Parvati Hoochi-meter will give us a week-by-week assessment of which sultry Survivor female has been more of a hussy. This week Amanda accounted for a good 80% of the hoochi-ness on the Favorites' side. Not only did she suck face with Ozzy in the shelter, but she also broke out one of her patented "blurred body part" moments when she fell out of her bathing suit during the immunity challenge. (For those of you who are new to the show, these occurred at least once per episode in China.)  Also, it's become extremely obvious that Amanda either is wearing much skimpier bathing suits or had some surgical enhancements between seasons. To be honest, I didn't pay enough attention in China to be able to tell you which one it is, but in Micronesia you don't have to pay any attention to notice that something's very different. Even Stevie Wonder could pick up on this.

2. These are the Super-fans?  I have to say that I'm extremely disappointed with the people that were picked as "super-fans". You're honestly telling me that Chet and Kathleen are avid students of the game with the way they alienate themselves from the rest of the tribe?  How could it possibly be your life's dream to go on Survivor, when you get on the show and play that way ?

Also, I totally don't get the Dirty Ogre's play to knock off Mary. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about - the one who looks like a caveman. What is he trying to pull?  So what if Mikey B has an obvious alliance and is running the show?  Isn't that exactly what you'd want at this point?  All he's doing is putting a massive target on his back. You never want to try and be the leader of the tribe early on. With few exceptions, those guys always get voted off (see Dave the Model and Aaron from last season). The best thing for Dirty Ogre to do would have been to befriend Mikey B, get on his good side, and let him try to dodge the bullets while everyone else ignores his gigantic self. Instead, Dirty Ogre has taken control of the tribe in a controversial manner and is just asking to get overthrown.

I'm just having a really hard time believing that these people are actually super-fans when a good half of them have already made extremely questionable strategic decisions two episodes into the game.

3. Who I Wish I'd Picked. In my usual Episode 2 routine, this is the point where I'd lament who I picked and discuss who I'd have taken if given another 60 minutes-worth of information. However, I'm feeling surprisingly good about Mikey B two episodes in. I know he's still named "Mikey B" and has some strange tatoos which make me question his judgement, but overall I'm having a tough time making a case for anyone else as a better candidate.

At this point, either of the long-haired surfer dudes is a crap-shoot. I could see either of them winning, but I can barely tell them apart, and they were both dumb enough to go along with Dirty Ogre's plan. Alexis seems like a solid selection, but I'm basing most of this off of the fact that she has the most clothes on out of all the female promo shots. On the favorites side, Ami is still the leading candidate, but I hate her guts. Cirie is a potential darkhorse, but she's currently still a fifth-place finisher at best.

So I'm happy with Mikey B for the time being. If anything Dirty Ogre did him a favor by getting rid of a potential love interest and taking the target squarely off his back. Now he can focus on winning over his tribe mates instead of pulling an Ozzy and Amanda. Also, did you notice how he was thinking two steps ahead in regards to the hidden immunity idol and arranging the votes carefully to avoid the potential upset?  Who did that sound like? 

Yeah, I'm starting to like the guy.

Survivor Power Poll: