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Somehow, the 11-5 Patriots aren't in the playoffs.
2008 NFL Quarterly Report
"When the future's architectured by a carvival of idiots on show,
you'd better lie low" - Coldplay
I already ripped my team a new one four weeks ago for their
lackluster performances against the Dolphins, Chargers, Colts, Jets,
and Steelers, so don't think for a second that the article to follow is
pure homer-ism. I'm fully aware that everything I'm about to complain
about could have easily been prevented with one more caught ball or one
less stupid penalty on the part of the New England Patriots.
However, after hitting rock-bottom and putting together four of the
worst quarters of football this franchise may have ever played in the
last half of the Steelers game and the first half of the Seahawks game,
the Patriots finally heeded my call and played like the team I knew
they could be over the season's final fourteen periods. The second
half in Seattle and the full three contests against Oakland, Arizona,
and Buffalo were New England Patriots football at its finest.They were
championship football. And it's an absolute crime that a team playing
the way this team is playing and having the record that this team has
will not be allowed to compete for a Super Bowl title.
Let there be no doubt about it; the way the Patriots lost those
five games this season was inexcusable. While it's certainly true that
the Patriots could have lost to the Colts even if Dave Thomas didn't
kill their final drive with his asinine penalty, that they were also no
lock to score the winning field goal had they been able to stop Brett
Favre and the Jets on 3rd and 15 in overtime, and that their contest
with the Steelers was a toss-up at best before the turn-over fest
killed their chances, I have to believe that one of their five losses
would have been a win without the bone-headed plays that ultimately did
the Pats in. In those regards, the Patriots have nobody to blame but
themselves for the fact that they're on the outside looking in. Yet at
the same time, their mental breakdowns were far less to blame for the
final outcome of the 2008 season than the widespread chaos caused by
the NFL's Carnival of Idiots...
The Pre-Season
Brett Favre, feeling the itch to add to his all-time interception
record, tries to un-retire and strong arm the Packers into trading him
to a title contender. When those efforts fail, he accepts a trade to
join the lowly Jets. Why Brett? Why???
The Jets, enamored by a soon-to-be 38 year old with a history of
alcohol and pain-killer addiction, decide to cut their starting
quarterback, opening the door for division rival, Miami, to scoop him
up and complete revitalize their franchise. Good call, Eric Mangina.
Week 1
Bernard Pollard, a no-name scrub on a 2-14 Kansas City Chiefs team
single-handedly derails a sure-fire 19-0 season by attacking Tom Brady
below the knees and tearing his ACL.
Week 2
The Minnesota Vikings sit on a nine point lead with six minutes
remaining and, twice, hand the ball back to Peyton Manning after
ultra-conservative play calling leads to three-and-out drives. Manning
leads the Colts to victory via a TD and a last second field-goal.
Week 4
In the span of 2:10 late in the 4th quarter, Texans QB, Sage
Rosenfelds fumbles twice and throws an interception to allow the Colts
to rack up 21 points. The Colts were trailing by 17 at the time.
Week 10
Ben Rothilsberger decides to reverse Petyon Manning's 3 TD's
and 0 INT's with 0 TD's and 3 INT's of his own in Pittsburgh's 24-20
loss to the Colts.
Week 13
Leading 6-3 in the fourth quarter of a defensive stalemate,
Cleveland QB, Derek Anderson, coughs up a fumble that is returned by
the Colts' Robert Mathis for a TD, giving Indy a 10-6 victory.
Week 15
Not that it mattered with the Jets folding to the Seahawks a
week later, but at the time, I was sure the Patriots had been done in
by Dick Jauron's unfathomable decision to call a passing play when his
Bills were leading late in the 4th quarter and he would've choked the
Jets by running three times and killing the clock. JP Losman's
subsequent fumble returned for a game-winning Jets TD nearly made my
head explode.
Week 16
Trailing 9-7 in the 3rd quarter, Dallas
defender, Ken Hamlin, recovers a fumble deep in Baltimore territory
which would've set up an easy score, only to decide it would be a nice
idea to toss the ball back to the Ravens, you know, just to keep things
competitive.
After Dallas surges to come with 19-17 late in the 4th quarter, the
Ravens have the ball. This is an obvious running situation for
Baltimore as their best bet is to kill the clock. Will McGahee runs as
expected, only none of the Cowboys saw this coming and let him run untouched for a 77-yard touchdown.
Dallas manages to score a quick touchdown to cut the deficit again
to 26-24. You would think they'd be prepared for a run this time,
right? Not so, because on the ensuing play Baltimore's Le'Ron McClain
notches an 82 yard touchdown run.
Week 17
Fifteen seconds after a Miami touchdown gave
the Dolphins a 7-6 lead, Brett Favre thought it would be a good idea to
throw the ball directly at a Miami defender. I'm not talking a bad
throw or a missed route. I'm talking about having the ball snapped to
you and then inexplicably chucking it directly into the chest of a
defender. The throw turns into a 25-yard TAINT and the Phins go up
14-6.
With the Jets trailing 24-17 late in the 4th, Brett Favre is
tempted to add another legendary drive to his resume. However, he just
can't resist the urge to end the season with as many INT's as TD's and
once again decides to take the snap and throw the ball DIRECTLY to a
Miami defender.
And with that pick, the man who started this entire Carnival
rolling with his un-retirement brings the show to a crashing halt. The
New England Patriots season is over.
When I look back at
the 2008 New England Patriots, I will undoubtedly remember the myriad
of stupidity that kept them out of the post-season. Some of those
gaffes rest squarely upon their own shoulders. Others, as I've so
bitterly chronicled above, were completely out of their control. In
the end, no NFL team is an island and each franchise is ultimately
affected by how the others perform. Indy's lucky horseshoe streak,
Dallas's collapse, the Favre saga - those are all part of what makes
the league what it is. Some seasons you reap the benefits like Miami
did, other years you get shut out. The Patriots won Super Bowl XXXVI
because their starting quarterback got injured. By the same token, the
Patriots probably lost out on Super Bowl XLIII because their starting
quarterback got injured. You have to take the bad with the good. I
guess if there's one thing about 2008 that leaves a bad taste in my
mouth, it's that an 11-5 team has been left out of the mix while an 8-8
team gets the 4th seed and a playoff game at home.
Far more idiotic than any Brett Favre pick is the current NFL
system of 4-team divisions. When you have divisions like the NFC West,
the AFC West, and the NFC North guaranteed to hand home playoff games
to mediocre-at-best teams how is that good for the league? I realize
that things change over time and in four years the NFC West could be a
powerhouse and the NFC East could be pathetic, but can you ever think
of a year when all eight division winners were arguably among the best
four teams in their conference? The Chargers are tied for the 8th and
9th best record in the AFC this year! They aren't even clearly in the
top half of the conference! Andyet they're HOSTING the 12-4 Colts
this weekend? It's just ridiculous. Want some more insanity about the
Patriots' situation? The 12-4 Steelers who finished ONE game better
than New England earned a bye week. How does ONE game make the
difference between getting a 1st round bye and not making the playoffs
at all? Explain to me how that makes any sense! Or what about the
fact that after New England smashed Arizona by 40 points in Week 15,
the Cardinals had two more losses than the Patriots, but had already
clinched a home playoff game on Week 13? Seriously, the Patriots got a
1st round bye and won the Super Bowl at 11-5 back in 2001. The Giants
won it all last year at 10-6! The fact that something like this is
even possible proves the system is broken...
...and I have a way to fix it. The league needs to scrap the four
divisions and go back to having just an East and West for the AFC and
NFC. If you win your eight-team division, you get an automatic bye.
The other four playoff spots go to the teams with the best record.
You're pretty much guaranteed to have the the best six teams competing
for the conference crown and it makes winning the division mean that
much more. Some may argue that this would kill rivalries, but if you
simply merged the East and South divisions and North and West
divisions, you would keep all the feuds intact. It works perfectly
geographically, with one one exception possibly being the need to flip
the Texans and Ravens as no team bordering the Atlantic Ocean should be
in a "West" division.
This is how your 2008 Playoff Seedings would look...
AFC:
1. Titans
2. Steelers
3. Colts
4. Dolphins
5. Ravens
6. Patriots
NFC:
1. Giants
2. Vikings
3. Panthers
4. Falcons
5. Eagles
6. Cardinals
Yes,
I realize that the only team difference is the Patriots over the
Chargers - but that's no homerism, just fairness. 11-5 should get
precidence over 8-8 every time. With this system the Colts also get a
home playoff game, which is fair. As do the Falcons, also fair. The
one and only "unfair" aspect to this whole system is that the Vikings
would get a bye week at 9-7. Still, they would've beaten seven other
teams to earn it, not three. Also, when you break it down, forcing
Carolina to play an extra home game against the weak Cardinals is
hardly as unjust as the Patriots not getting a playoff game at all. A
perfect system doesn't exist, but what I've proposed is worlds better
than the current mockery the league is using.
At any rate, an 11-5 season is nothing to hang your head about.
There are 22 other teams in the league who would have loved to have
that record. If you had told at the beginning of the year that we were
losing Tom Brady, and Rodney Harrison, and Adalius Thomas, and Lawrence
Maroney, and Tedy Bruschi - and that Deltha O'Neal would be featured
heavily at corner back for most of the season, I would've gladly taken
my chances with 11-5. While there were certainly many mistakes and
bumps along the road, the Patriots managed to band together and weather
the storm, literally. Needing to win out their schedule to even have a
prayer of the post-season, the Patriots withstood a Northwest downpour,
a New England blizzard, and 60-mile-per-hour winds in Buffalo to secure
their tie atop the standings with Miami. In the end, they looked
nothing like the team I had berated in my article four weeks ago.
Instead, they looked like the champions I knew they could be,
finally clicking into gear and peaking at just the right moment.
Unfortunately, that moment will never come.
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