Yankee Nation Rule #1: It's important to point out past post-season success as often as possible. However, if anyone points out anything in the past that doesn't reflect positively on the Yankees, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter now. For example, it's okay to point out that the Yankees beat the Mets in the 2000 WS, even though the Mets had a better season won/loss record. Yet Yankee fans dismiss the 2003 Marlins victory over their $182 million juggernaut by saying the Marlins just had a 'lucky week". If you mention the Yankee loses in 2001 to the D'Backs and 2002 to the Angels, Yankee fans will argue that it happened in the past ... doesn't matter now and besides the Yankees have 26 championships.
Rule #2: Nothing in the regular season matters, unless it's favorable to the Yankees. For example, The Yankees had many HR's and RBI's in 2002, which their fans will gloat about. However, if anyone pointed out that they lead the league in batters striking out and their pitching was horrible down the stretch it doesn't count. Keep quiet about this year's ever changing musical Yankee bullpen too. Oh yes, Regular Season wins / losses and accomplishments are especially irrelevant, unless you are referring to the 1998 Yankees.
Rule #3: Statistics are for losers. Whenever someone posts a statistic that a Yankee fan finds confusing or not to his liking, quickly point out that the Yankees have won 4 out of the last 8 World Series and 26 Championships.
Rule #4: If anyone accuses the Yankees of "buying" their championships, first insult that person... Then argue that Jeter, B Williams, Pettitte, Rivera, and Posada are all home-grown talent. Then, hope that nobody notices this represents only a minority of players, and hope the other person doesn't bring up Matsui, Contreras, Boone, Delucci, Heredia, G. White, Garcia, Nelson, Soriano, Clemens, Mussina, Giambi, Hammond, Karsay, Widger, Wells, Weaver, Sierra and (add in latest Free Agents here) Hope they don't mention the fact that guys like Cuban defector - Andy '$4 million" Morales, El Duqicito $5 million and Drew "$17 million" Henson were acquired and didn't play much - if at all. Remember when the Yankees picked up Jose Canseco a few years ago, just so another team wouldn't claim him off waivers. Oh the luxury to buy players simply to keep other teams from obtaining them. Must be the Yankee Mystic and Aura no doubt.
Rule #5a: Whenever you argue with a Met fan, always bring up the 2000 World Series. This will infuriate them and while they try to respond, point out Rule #1
Rule #5b: Whenever you argue with Red Sox fans, scream 1918!
As if you were alive since 1918 and witnessed all of the Yankees 26 championships personally! Geezzz!!!!!!!!!!! The Yankees won many of their championships when there were only 8 teams in the league. They were always at the top or very close once they purchased Babe Ruth. The trend never ceased. The Yankees don't always win when they spend the most, yet one truth is they never win when they don't. Cyndi Lauper is right. Money changes everything.
Rule #5c: Whenever you argue with an Angels fan, say it was only one World Series and since the Yankees have won 26, the Angel's championship really doesn't count. (same with the Diamondbacks) Every year another team wins a championship, it's a fluke. Unless it's the Jeff Maier aided home run ball hit by the Yankees.
Rule #5d: Whenever you argue with a Marlin fan, say the Yankees had the better overall record and it was a fluke. Fail to mention the Marlins had early season key injuries, changed managers and added key players later - like Cabrera. Don't let on you know the Marlin playoff team was not nearly the same team as the one in March. Also play dumb to the fact that the Marlins had the best record in baseball since late May.
Rule #6: Statistics and records are never as important as name recognition. Statistics should always be dismissed unless they are favorable to the Yankees. If anyone argues with that, see Rule #2.
Rule #7: Defend Baron Von Steingrabber, Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens at all costs. The felon, the flake, and the 'headhunter". Resort to name calling and threats of violence if necessary. Remember: while stats prove otherwise, claim you'd rather have Jeter than Nomar or A-Rod. Why? Becuz of da rings! Don't mention Jeter's failure to run out a ball in the 2003 series, that ended up being a double play that would cost the Yankees a run. As far as Jeter's 0-4 and costly error in game 6. Shhhh. Yankee fans, players and coaches will tell you that Roger Clemens throwing at players heads is part of his game. Yet with the next breath they will tell you that Pedro Martinez doing the same thing should be banned from the game for life and thrown in prison. Yankee players violently assaulting a cheering Redsox groundskeepers is fine with Yankee fans because the players were provoked. Of course, Pedro moving out of the way of a charging Yankee coach should go to jail. Yankee fans would rather have Louie Sojo over Albert Pujols*. They'd also rather have Jim Leyritz over Barry Bonds -Why? Becuz of da rings!
(* Of course if and when the Yankee$ ever do buy Pujols, he'll then and only then become rated as far better than Louie Sojo or Jim Leyritz ever were. Yankee fans will try to attribute it to the Yankee aura and mystic.)
Rule #8: Fans of all other teams are bandwagon fans. Nobody has a more loyal, more dedicated following than the Yankees (guess they forgot the Stump Merril years) especially those many Yankee fan converts in 1996. If a team is hot, or is playing well, call that team's fans front-runners. Yankee fans did this to Diamondback fans, Angels fans and most recently Marlins fans. Remember to point out how many championships the Yankees have won without mentioning the team payroll in any of those championship years. If questioned why, immediately revert to Yankee Nation Rule #1.
Rule #9: The Yankees are the Defending American League East Champions and should have been Champions every year (if not for blown umpires calls and other teams luck): Of course such a policy will never exist, because George Steinbrenner vehemently opposes anything that doesn't directly contribute to the success of the Yankees (remember the illegal Adidas deal that netted the Yankees a cool $100 million?) Yankees own their own TV network too, so therefore, the Yankees will forever be the Defending American League East Champions. If another team wins the AL East, then it was simply a fluke.
And finally:
Rule #10: Logic, humility, reason, and class should be avoided at all times. You are the arrogant Yankees. You should belittle all other teams and their fans any chance you get. Defame players on other teams-while turning a blind eye to Yankees like Billy 'Hiccups" Martin, Steve Howe and his 7 time substance abuse violations. Fail to let on you are aware of such hostile acts - such as- Yankee fans burning the cap of a RedSox fan in the Yankee stadium bleachers, or the throwing D cell batteries at opposing players - certainly don't let on knowing about the open bladed hunting knife that struck Wally Joyner at Yankee stadium.
Still think the Yankees enormous payroll helps the Yanke$$ in winning? Then prepare to deal with the Yankee nation and the spin machine. Yankee homers agree with each other at all times, even if they have no rational for their points of view. If the homers say 2+2= 5 , then it must be right. That's the process of the Yankee nation. Jump on board. Anyone with got a problem with that?!?! - Then see Rule # 1...
