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The votes are in, and an Idol is crowned!
AND THE WINNER IS....
 AND 
That's right, a tie in the voting left me with no choice but to bestow the title of the REAL American Idol on both Adam Sandler and Homer Simpson. And so I'd like to take the moments to honor the careers of both of these fine gentlemen.
Alphabetically, we'll go with Mr. Sandler:
Who has had such a successful run of starring roles in big movies as Adam Sandler? Sure there's the occasional "Little Nicky" that just isn't up to par, but can you top the infamous "Billy Madison", "Happy Gilmore", "Wedding Singer", "Water Boy", "Big Daddy" run? These movies are top notch comedies. They've also brought so much to the table...
Like how to illegally adopt a child...
How to melt a woman's heart by busting out a sappy love song...
And how to score points with your third grade teacher...
And how to get your tail kicked by a game show host...
Yup. Basically everything in life that's worth knowing can be learned from studying the fine films of Mr. Sandler. And that is why he is so deserving of the title, "The REAL American Idol"!
And now onto everyone's favorite TV Dad, Homer Simpson
There's no real reason for Homer to look so glum. He single-handedly steals the show on the best cartoon ever made. I remember when the Simpson's first came out, the big draw was Bart. He was supposed to be the star. But Homer, in his beer chugging, donut scarfing, way, capture the heart of America. He's the real gem of the Simpson family. Mainly because he is everything we never hope to be. When we take a look at Homer Simpson's life, our own doesn't seem so bad after all.
Face it, no TV character could ever brighten your day like Homer can. There's just no topping this guy. If it weren't for Homer Simpson, I'd bet the Simpsons would've gone off the air a long time ago. He's just that good.
So you can look at the REAL American Idols and say that our country is in a sad state. Look at these two. A comedian who plays characters who are either stupid, lazy, or both, and a fat, drunken cartoon character. But you see, the real beauty of these two is that they are just average guys. There's nothing so special about them that makes us love them. We just like them cause they make the everyday things a little more interesting. The American public doesn't need another singing diva to amaze us. We're fine watching Adam pour water and Homer eat pork, because it's the little things that matter. And nobody makes the little things bigger than these two do.
So hats off to our two "REAL American Idols". At least they won't make us suffer through 18 renditions of some cheesy pop song!
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