Login


Got a question to ask DeROK? The best submissions will be featured in an upcoming Mailbag column.  You can ask your question quickly and easily via our online form.

You Are Viewing...

Count Chocula Cereal

Count Chocula E-mail
Written by DeROK   
Sunday, 02 June 2002
A classic breakfast experience.

  

Count Chocula Cereal

When I was a child, the only thing that got me going in the morning was a good healthy dose of sugar and the occult. Nothing tops Count Chocula for delivering a quality breakfast product that is not only part of a balanced breakfast, but also a blast to eat. There are many great cereals out there, but none as good as Count Chocula. Cocoa Puffs has the chocalatey goodness, but lacks those amazing marshmallows; Lucky Charms has the marshmallows, but those oat pieces can't compare to the chocolate puffed cereal that Chocula puts forth. Count Chocula combines the best elements of several General Mills cereals and packs it all together for a sugary treat that is sure to leave the kids bouncing off the walls for hours.Besides the boost in energy that Chocula provides, there's also the issue of the Count himself. No breakfast cereal character has the charisma of Count Chocula. Even though he only has one fang, all other characters hide in fear of the Count's blood sucking ability. The only other character that could ever match up to Chocula is Tony the Tiger. I think if the two ever met in a dark alley, the fight would be close, but even then I don't see Tony being too Grrrrreat with a puncture wound in his neck from the Count's vicious bite. But all violence aside, kids across the nation can rest assured that Count Chocula is a gentle giant of a vampire, who only wishes to bring chocolately cereal with spooky-fun marshmallows to breakfast tables everywhere. And for that, Count Chocula, we salute you!  You are truly a classic.

Count Chocula with Frankenberry and Boo Berry

While it's common knowledge that Count Chocula is the greatest cereal ever created, General Mills did manage to create some other great spooky marshmallow breakfast treats. Frankenberry, Boo Berry, and some lesser known monsters are all a part of Count Chocula's inner circle of friends. And no dissertation on the Count would be complete without them.

Count Chocula's Spooky Friends


Count Chocula holding cereal box

Count Chocula Memorabillia

You know that you are one amazing vampire when they start memorializing you as a bobble head doll. Check out some of the classic Count Chocula memorabilia. If you get the chance you should try to pick up some of this stuff for your own collection. If the people at Kellogg's get really jealous and get a hitman to drive a stake through the good Count's heart, this stuff may be worth something some day.

 

These are some of the many different boxes that have housed the Count's cereal. Apparently Count Chocula had some dental work done in the 80's, because his second fang is conspicuously absent in the more recent photos.

Just imagine the amazing songs you'd be able to strum with this Count Chocula guitar.

Guys, why bother wasting your money buying that teddy bear for your girlfriend, when you can surprise her with this plush Count Chocula bean bag doll. It's sure to leave her like putty in your hands.

Want to attract members of the opposite gender?  This Count Chocula T-shirt is sure to turn the heads of hungry people everywhere.

What could be more enjoyable than watching Count Chocula's head wobble while you scarf down some of his cereal?


 
< Prev

DeROKTube Old-School Videos

Curly gets busted!
Come along with the Snorks! Swim along with the Snorks!
Table the label and wear your own name!
This episode of Diff'rent Strokes freaked me out!
If you were born in the early 80's you loved this show.
I pity the fool who don't love his momma!
My favorite TV show when I was three.
The opening music to the Ninja Turtles cartoon series.

The Classics

Nothing says classic like the Heroes in a Half Shell.
Professional wrestling at its absolute apex.
"Come on Down!" You're in for some classic game show fun!
A classic breakfast experience.
I Pity the Fool who don't like Mr. T!
One of the all-time classic sci-fi movie franchises.