Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson have taken "insanity" to new levels.
Before you flip out and question my sanity for putting Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson on the positive side of the Hall of Legends, let me defend my position. First off, it wasn't an easy decision. I mean, everything these two do would get the rest of us put in a mental institute if we were ever dumb enough to try them. But unlike Mr. Wood who head lines the infamous legends lineup, these guys don't make my skin crawl. To tell the truth, I actually enjoy watching Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson. Who else guarantees greater amounts of laughs than these two? And so while I pretty much disagree with everything they stand for, I can't help but watch to see what incredibly stupid thing they'll do next. And so despite how questionable my decision on their placement may be, I have to give Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson a thumbs up for making sure there's never a dull moment, and providing unintentional comedy like no one else. It's frightening how similar these two can be, seeing as one's a former heavyweight champion boxer, and the other's the King of Pop. No one will argue that these two are completely insane, but which of them is truly the craziest? I'll leave that up for you to decide.
Part 1: Facial Alteration
Do I even need to go into Michael Jackson's plastic surgery history? What's he thinking? That has to be the most mis-shapen nose ever. It's this deformed piece of putty hanging by a thread. I've heard that it's even fallen off a few times. Let's just say that after his fifteenth nose job, Michael Jackson has officially made himself the most scary looking person on earth. While his cameo in MIB2 was high quality, the only movie roles he'll be landing from now on are Planet of the Apes sequels.
Mike Tyson shocked the world by unveiling his new tattoo on his face. Well, I guess none of us were really shocked considering it's Iron Mike we're talking about. My personal favorite moment of Mike Tyson's first press conference after the tattoo was the following quote: "Listen, I don't want to talk about the tattoo. You all know about my personal life. You all know how many times I've been to prison. This is my personal life. I want to talk about the fight. I mean there's a billion people out there with tattoos on their faces." A billion people. No exaggeration here either, he was completely serious. Gotta love Mike Tyson.
Part 2: Keep The Kids Away
It's common knowledge that Michael Jackson has been known to hold sleepovers with children at his "Neverland" Ranch. Michael Jackson claims to be a real life Peter Pan. As crazy as all this sounds, I think we often look past the fact that there are adults out there who actually let their children hang out with this guy. What on earth are these people thinking? Now that's really crazy.
Is there anyone as quotable as Mike Tyson? When asked about his hobbies, Mike Tyson said that he enjoys "getting high, hanging out with my kids, and drinking." Does one of these items seem out of place? In a recent interview, Iron Mike made the following comments regarding his opponent, Lennox Lewis: "I'm going to rip his heart out and feed it to him. I am going to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!" Guess who's kid's weren't sitting ringside when those two collided...
Part 3: Weird Pets
Michael Jackson finally found true love when he adopted his pet chimpanzee, Bubbles. Little did we know that the madness was just beginning...
Mike Tyson has decided that one pet just wasn't enough, so he has decided to raise several hundred pigeons. He can't understand how he ended up flat broke. I think the best place to start would be the bills for 18 tons of bird feed.
4: Keep Him Away From...
...Balconies. Here's a classic picture of Wacko Jacko dangling his child off of a hotel balcony. Besides the obvious question of why anyone would do such a thing, I want to know why the government hasn't taken the kid away. This is the same guy who headlined the "Save the Children" campaign. It boggles the mind...
...Ears. In what was probably his most famous insane move, Iron Mike decided that instead of losing a boxing match like a normal human being, he would get himself disqualified by taking a bite out of Evander Holyfield's ear. Is it just me, or would Mike Tyson be a perfect spokesperson for a Snickers commercial: "Chomping your opponent's ear - a side affect of hunger..."