When David Cook performed "Little Sparrow" a week ago, I couldn't wait to get back on here for some well-deserved verbal drubbing. However, I wanted to wait until I had some more material so I could make this sixth entry of "The Campaign" into a worthwhile post.
In the last entry, I discussed how Randy and Paula were erroneously throwing out the word "original" to describe David Cook, when all he was doing was going on iTunes and copying song versions that other people wrote. To his credit, David Cook fully admitted this and never tried to play it off like he was the one coming up with these covers. (Again, I'm trying to be as objective as possible, so I'll give him credit when he does something good. Just keep that in mind.) However, no rock band in their right mind would every cover a Dolly Parton song, so this week David was completely on his own. I knew that this would be a sink or swim week for him as it would show the world if he was capable of creating music on his own or just parroting somebody else's idea.
Personally, I thought the performance was incredibly lame. Did he take that song which was destined to flop and turn into something half-way respectable? Yes. But there's just no way a man singing about a "Little Sparrow" can come off anyway but strange. I just don't know what he was thinking picking "Little Sparrow" as his song. I mean, Bono couldn't even make that song cool. The judges, however, seemed to eat it up. Well, at least Randy and Paula did. Simon appeared to be a bit on the fence, trying to decide whether he should be impressed that David Cook almost made "Little Sparrow" work, or annoyed at him for picking a song that had no chance of actually succeeding.
At any rate, David Cook did a decent job, because as I've already stated many times before, he's incredibly talented. However, there's just no way he can ever be taken seriously as a "rocker" after that performance. That's the kind of tape you hope gets buried or burned. He'll never live this down.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! This was the week I'd been waiting for! As soon as David Cook said he'd be performing a song by Our Lady Peace, I knew he was in for his worst performance ever. You see, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, Dolly Parton, and Lionel Richie all know how to write a song. They're some of the best musical artists ever. So when David Cook goes and performs one of their pieces, he's already half-way there to a solid performance. "Our Lady Peace" on the other hand, well, stinks. There's a reason probably 70-80% of the people reading this don't even know who they are. So when David Cook decided to perform an obscure song from an obscure band, the chances of him succeeding were slim to none. After all, song choice is probably the most important aspect of an American Idol performance. Sure enough, David Cook's rendition fell flat on its face! He was simply doomed from the start because he was singing a poorly written song.
Now everybody has a bad week. Everybody. So I'm really not here to bash David on his singing, especially when he still did better than I would ever do. What I am going to call him out on is for once again being smug and trying to pull off another gimmick with the message on his hand. Paula thought that it was "inspirational" and felt the need to call our attention to it once again, even after it filled up our entire TV screen at the end of the performance. Then again, Paula's clearly got some type of crush or obsession going on because she was up dancing to the song like it was some spiritual awakening, when it was clearly the weakest performance of the night. Seriously, the way she gushes and drools over David Cook is almost comical.
Simon, as usual, was not the least impressed with the act. In addition to basically dismissing Paula's "inspirational" comment, he had a classic reaction when David revealed his hand. Go back in the video and look at Simon's face. He's grinning from ear to ear! Clearly he's just flabbergasted by the never-ending supply of gimmicks that David Cook pulls out. Really, this is what American Idol is coming down to. "Instead of voting for Michael Johns, let me vote for David because he wrote on his hand!" I really wish America wasn't that gullible, but they are. I guess in some ways you have to credit David Cook for realizing that fact and pandering to it. After all, it is going to make him a very rich guy!
Finally, I'd like to end with Simon's "pompous" comment. The Brit once again hit the nail on the head! This smug attitude is precisely my #1 beef with Daid Cook. Two nights later, at the results show, David would bring up this comment and rehash the fact that Simon had now called him "arrogant, smug, and pompous." (He forgot "worthy", by the way.) In his typical "pompous" way, he wondered how many adjectives Simon could come up with to say the same thing. You would think as a self-proclaimed word nerd, he'd already have the answer, but since he didn't, I'll help him out. Simon's still got cocky, haughty, proud, big-headed, overconfident, condescending, egotistical, self-important, and supercilious at his disposal. Seeing as David hasn't been in the bottom three yet, I'm guessing he'll have plenty of time to use them all.
Initially, I wanted David Cook out as soon as possible. However, I've come to realize that America is enamored with his charades and that he isn't going anywhere. Now that my personal favorite, Michael Johns is gone and my other favorite, Brook White, is a super long-shot, I'm rooting for David to make it to the Final Two. I can think of no better ending to this American Idol Season than watching David Cook try to act like he's not about to cry when David Archuletta and his army of fourteen-year old girls finally do him in! Better yet, how about a Shooter McGavern-esque tirade live on national television? Now that would totally make up for five months of dealing with David Cook!
